YOU THE MAN

You the Man, written and directed by Cathy Plourde is an excellent way for a campus or community to set the tone for productive, open dialogue about issues that plague our society: unhealthy relationships, sexual assault, and dating abuse.
While women have been addressing the issue for the last 30 years, the challenge has been to engage men in the conversation and activism-a critical element, as 99% of sexual violence is committed by men. Written in consultation with DV and SA advocates around the country, YTM is a powerful and engaging approach to the work at hand, and is getting national attention from advocates:

"You The Man is such an effective program in part because its male characters ring so true. This provides men with a way to empathize and identify with issues that many of us have long chosen to shy away from. The most important recent development in gender violence prevention is an increased focus on men. You The Man is an original, creative -- and dare I say it -- entertaining contribution to this movement. It promises to spark some really useful dialogue between women and men on college campuses, high schools and all sorts of community settings."
Jackson Katz, creator of the award-winning video Tough Guise and founder of the Mentors in Violence Prevention (MVP) Program

The play is not an end unto itself, but a means of getting people to talk about the issues. YTM features six different characters, all men who are in relationship with people who are or have been victimized. An athlete stuck in a macho box of loyalty and police officer/public speaker are alongside an advice-giving, rhyming hip-hop merchant of cool to address the issue of sexual assault. A friend, a father and a professor all struggle with their choices as a young women's relationship becomes increasingly dangerous.

The play names intimate violence as a concern in GLBTQ relationships, as well as heterosexual relationships. It empowers men and women to step out of the bystander role, to not let friends or family suffer in silence, to engage in critical thinking around tough questions: What is informed consent? How does alcohol or drug use factor into consent issues? What do you do if you recognize someone is in trouble? How do you be supportive and not endanger someone?

The play does not offer resolution. It doesn't seek to traumatize the audience. It doesn't do 'magic', and present a perpetrator seeing the error of his ways. It is not reasonable or safe to expect that an abusive or violent person will change: it is reasonable that in a coordinated community response, we can create communities that do not tolerate the violence. It is reasonable that women and men find ways to address the issue together, and begin to understand how the issues impact ALL of us. As much violence happens off campuses or after campus resources are closed, YTM offers an opportunity for the community resources to join a campus's resources in the mandatory debriefing session that follows the performance.

Included in the program materials is a guide to bringing the play into a community, with checklists, guided discussion questions, troubleshooting tips, and suggestions for additional resources. Social change happens one person at a time; an individual can be empowered to recognize choices, healthy language, and solidarity with other individuals. If we want the violence toward women to end, women must find and use strategies that will engage men in ways that do not shame, blame or victimize.

You the Man can be the tool for campuses to move men to reflect, and then act. As Stan the Man says in his closing lines:
"It's time for the violence to end
starting with you and your friends.
You the man-and ladies, you too--
Now. What you gonna do?"

References can be provided upon request. We are happy to assist you in talking with other groups and schools who have used this program.